After dealing with some of the most challenging situations of my life and thinking I can handle the anxiety again, I decided to wean off of Lexapro (see this blog post).  I had also gained ~15 pounds and noticed my energy levels were lower and my motivation to exercise was significantly affected on this medication (less motivated).  Exercise has always been my stress relief, so the medication took its place a great deal, but that did not help my body image or fitness level.

I was already taking 5 mg/day for several months. I moved down to 5 mg/day every other day for a couple of weeks. Then I discontinued use. Here is how I felt and what I experienced upon discontinuing use.

I did experience side effects. The side effects were intense at first and then gradually faded away.  For the first couple of weeks, I debated going back on the medication so the withdrawal effects would subside – that is how severe they felt at times.  I questioned whether I made the right decision and wondered if I would ever be the same as I was before starting the medication, mainly from the standpoint of wanting to feel “normal” and recognize how my body was feeling.

Reducing from 5 mg/day to 5 mg every other day

• Side effects: Increased anxiety and difficulty sleeping (mainly because I couldn’t quiet my mind).  I started meditating every night for ~10 minute or putting on a mediation / deep sleep music and this helped me fall asleep. 
• Higher energy levels: I got back into the habit of exercising most days to expend the energy and also found that the exercise alleviated some of the anxiety that I was feeling.

Discontinuing use

• About 3 months prior, I reduced the dose from 10 mg/day to 5 mg/day.
• About 1 month prior, I reduced the dose from 5 mg/day to 5 mg every other day.
• Day 0 was my last dose.

Day 1 – 2	I felt ok, just a little more anxious than usual. I went for a daily walk to curb my anxiety.
Day 3 – 4	I felt dizziness, like there were these waves of energy going through my brain body – I’m not sure if that is what folks are referring to as “shocks”, but it felt to me like waves…. To where I often needed to sit down. I also felt like I had more energy and got out for exercise more often during the next few months than I had previously.
Day 5 – 6	Same as Days 3 – 4. I did not drive days 5 – 9 because these waves felt like they would affect my ability to concentrate / focus on driving. I was feeling anxious about whether the side effects would cease, and I would feel “normal” again.
Day 7 – 10	The “waves” of dizziness and energy (maybe what folks describe as “shocks”, reduced over these days.
Day 11 – 14	I started feeling more normal. The waves / shocks were reduced to ~2-3x per day.
Week 3	The side effects were still recognizable, but I wasn’t as concerned and knew that I was through the worst of it. I noticed my motivation and interest in hobbies was coming back.
Week 4	Same as week 3. I also felt like I was more so “out of the woods” and was more confident in my ability to not go back to the medication.
Month 2	2 months later I have no symptoms other than a panic attack or high level of anxiety in certain situations. I am exercising more, though, which feels like a constructive way to deal with such emotions, and I feel better about myself after a good workout. I don’t think I will go back on the medicine but know that it helped me when I needed it and am forever thankful for medicines like this that help people live their lives and be who they want to be without debilitating anxiety.
Month 3	I definitely notice my anxiety again. However, I have stepped up my exercise routine and also faced some challenges head on rather than just letting them go and coping. This has not been easy, but I think it will be something I will need to do moving forward.

Since discontinuing use, I have increased my exercise and activity to help with my anxiety. I have also been working on establishing better boundaries (an area I know I need to work on). I think I got this from here on out, but definitely think about how much the medication helped me when I truly needed it.